a polite decline.

Last night, I met some friends for dinner. I arrived early, so I went inside and reserved our table. Though the night was the typical warm, outside seemed like the perfect place to dine. I was lead to a table on the backside of the porch to the perfect spot, right in front of the fan. I was lazily eating my chips and salsa, when I noticed a man looking in my direction. He was in his mid to late forties wearing Wranglers with boots. His motorcycle t-shirt was tuck into his jeans where his shiny belt buckle glistened in the Texas sun. (Okay, I expanded the truth right there, but you get the idea). The Marlbo Man had a long thin pony tail to distract from the fact that he was balding on top. His sunglasses made it difficulty to tell if he was looking at me, or just in my general direction. A girl notices if someone is looking in her direction, even if it is undesired. Continuing to graze on the appetizers before me, I pay little to no attention to the man in the corner. To my surprise, I saw him get up and walk in my direction. I do not assume that he coming towards me, at least that's what I told myself. And, so I pay no mind to his motion. Until, he is standing in front of my table introducing himself. "My name is Bobby Joe, and your hair looks mighty pretty blowing in the wind," he said with a thick Texas drawl. I am always taken by surprise when a stranger--a man stranger--gives me a compliment. I politely thanked him for the compliment and declined his invitation to join my table. He walked to the bar pulled a cigarette and continued drinking his beer. A couple of tables over were three nurses. These women erupted in laughter after observing my interaction with The Marlbo Man. My heart kind of shifted to sadness. Yes, I rejected him, but I do have an understanding of how difficult it is to walk across the room. So, kudos to the cowboy who is most likely the age of my father, who liked my hair. You and I will never work, but keep on complimenting the ladies. And women, when we get hit on by the polite-but-not-your-type, avoid laughter. It is just plain rude.

Self Preservation.

Within the last couple of months being single has not paid off. For instance, where is the manual on how NOT to break your toilet? (Which, I successfully did.) Or, dealing with rodents in your garage. Believe me, I did call the landlord for these terrible creatures, but was informed that it was my responsibility. I'd like to see that written in the lease. And, the skill and art of landscaping/gardening 101, who taught me how to do this? In conclusion, single white female seeking handsome handy man to fulfill all her honeydo lists and/or dreams.